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  • Ouch

    I suspected it was over, The Art of Seduction to the contrary, but now I KNOW. She's back on the dating site where she picked me up in the first place. Um, no, I never left. My profile's too involved and damn near thought out to delete. Sure, it only took me 2 weeks to start banging somebody else, but still. I can't win, what with her having all the pussy in the equation and all. Anyway, let's chalk it up to another sharp blow to the base of my spine by the flying fickle finger of fate and move on, shall we?

     

    I came up with this at an I Dream of Jeannie machine at the Palms. Whether or not it reflects its origin is entirely up to you:

    It all started because of a woman. Yeah, I know. How original, I've never heard that one before. But it did. And I never claimed original or unique. Besides, those particular qualities seem to be highly devalued of late.

    But I digress.

    Sooner or later, for whatever flipping of the bird by the flying fickle finger of fate, we all have the moment of epiphany where we realize she's gone, she's not coming back.

    Oh, you thought she was? That's so cute. Anyway, again, this is one of those stories. Which brings us to Ryan Kelly. Average car. Average job. Between 4 and 6 inches. You know, average.

     

    Why, yes, I am going somewhere with it. Eventually. Ish. Maybe more will come to me when I'm back in Vegas next month.

     

    I'm off to wallow and then an online draft. Peace, love and all the other fairy tales.