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  • Mistaken Identity

    Try to pass yourself off as a life coach (in the sense that this is my life, observe its example, learn from it, do NOT repeat it) one time on a dating site, and naturally you're approached by 31 Flavours of ACTUAL life coaches.

    I had no idea Alberta even HAD life coaches. A hard lesson but a valuable one.

    In my own defence, I never actually lied to her, merely to, you know, every-fucking-body on the dating site. Simply how I roll. And, when confronted (over the phone, while liquored-up, on vacation in Las Vegas, after leaving a slot machine whilst on a hot streak to take the call), I came clean. Evasion isn't lying, but when asked a direct question, I do tell the truth. Yes, kiddies, even I have the odd principle or 2.

    One minute she's all ''when are you going to ask me out and do you want me to be a bad girl?'' girl and the next...not so much. Chicks.

    So I e-mail her to apologize for 'lying' to her. Words mean nothing and can be used to say anything. Now, to the best of my knowledge, the proper etiquette on her part would be to simply not reply at all.

    But she did. 4 words: I Don't Date Liars. Mixed signals kinda rule.

    So, I submit to tout le monde: this is a TEST, n'est pas?