suavely deranged

So I won't be going to work for the Evil Empire, WalMart after all. On the plus side, it took the good folks thereabouts 2, count 'em, 2 whole days to arrive at their (likely correct) decision. No reason was given, just a brief e-mail that I finally happened across 4 days after it had been sent. But I've a sneaking suspicion that it was because I don't have any referents from my last place of employ. And no chance of acquiring any. Or, perhaps, because I haven't managed to find a viable way to incorporate the word 'synergy' into casual convo or my resume as of yet. Who can ever tell with such things?

And so my unemployment continues...

I had an interview Monday. For the company that I left on poor terms before the last company I left on poor terms. Surprisingly, one of the folks instrumental in my exit has apparently given me a positive referral for this new gig. I have no idea why. The interview went fairly well. Mostly because one of my boys, whom I've been friends with for 18 years and tried to hire me in a similar position early last year, has some juice with the company and recommended me.

And this is what I've become. The object of pity. At least it's for an entirely different reason than usual. Yay, me! Growing, I am.

I managed to fuck up my reporting for collecting unemployment. I misread the statement I received from my previous employers stating they'd placed my pension contributions into another account as meaning they'd closed out my account and deposited the funds into my regular banking institution. However...after 30 minutes on hold before claiming these moneys, I discovered they had, in fact, been placed into the same account as my pension contributions from my last gig. An account I have no idea how to access which now, apparently, contains seven grand. So... I have to refile tomorrow and explain my error. Good Times.

I really need to pay attention to numbers and shit. It's like the man said: you can have a great life if you know about money and women. You can have a good life if you know about money OR women. If you're having trouble grasping either...

Luckily I know about women. They want the same things we do, only in prettier colors. And, don't let anybody tell you different, they love sex. Fucking LOVE it. It's the multiple orgasm factor. What more is there to know?

And, yet again, I digress. Deal.

Took a call from an American company beginning to make ingress into Canada. Which the recruiter described as taking the place of Linens N Things. Which I interviewed with last year. And we know how things turned out for them. An omen?

A couple of other possibilities remain. And I'm sending out applications, so hopes remain high.

And, of course, when the money gets low, I have an exit strategy, but we won't talk about that quite yet.

Perhaps I'll choose the erased myself and let go/started over again in Mexico option. Perhaps not. Only time will tell.

And so my ennui continues...

And, of course, I need to look into reinvesting my paper pension plan moneys, as apparently some of my choices haven't performed very well. Story of my life. I also need to learn how to shoot video with my iPhone. Welcome to my pity party. One night only. Actually, only the last maybe hour. I read a series of essays about the Chris Benoit tragedy and discovered that Feeling Minnesota isn't anywhere near as clever as I'd fondly recalled.

However...a good blowjob does still feel like love every time. And tonight's WWE Raw from Calgary kinda sucked. That there is what I like to laughingly refer to as a segue. I'm glad I didn't give in to impulse and wander down to the Saddledome to see it live. Now, if it's been Smackdown, that'd be an entirely different story.

Which reminds me of another, as such things often do. In 2001, my then GF ish (damn she had a nice frame) and I went to Raw here and then rented a car and drove to Edmonton for Smackdown, where we saw Chris Benoit give Stone Cold Steve Austin I believe 12 (and may be wrong, I blame the concussions) consecutive German suplexes in an awesome display of technique. Especially since both men had, for lack of proper medical terminology (having missed that day of medical school), broken their necks in the ring at one point or another. Perhaps several.

On the way home, as we were driving back to Calgary that night, we stopped at a truck stop just outside the Edmonton International Airport. This was back in the days when I didn't wear my glasses unless I required them. So I halfwittedly bull in a china shopped my way into a section that had been roped off. A waitress told me of my error and Charlotte and I went to the area we were directed to, ate and left. It wasn't until we were in the car and On the Road (note to self: reread Kerouac) that Charlotte pointed out to me that I had pretty much tripped over Kurt Angle, Jerry Lynn (always a personal fave, EC F'N W was awesome back in its prime) and X-Pac and had assumed that myopic l'il ol' me had been aware of my gaffe. Yeah, not so much.

And that's my brush with fame. At least I didn't mark out and interrupt their meal by asking for autographs.

And then there was the time I walked by Luc Robitaille and Paul Coffey in Banker's Hall when they were with the Los Angeles Kings. Nope, didn't mark out then, either.

Why, yes, Virginia, I really AM Cool like that.

But could someone please tell me where the fuck all these ants have come from?

And I can't believe I forgot to mention in my last post how nifty The Final Destination looks. For that series of flicks, I kinda AM a total mark. Especially the first. Even though I've never been a big fan of the horror flicks.

Halloween 2. NCIS LA. On the negative tip, creativity, like Justice and god (or whoever) is dead. On the plus side, we're that much closer to a big screen revisioning of Magnum P.I.

But tomorrow, or, as the case may be, later today is another day. Here's hoping the geophysicist has a safe flight back from St. John's. And that my bank statement arrives in the day's mail, save me a trip to the bank. Sleep well geophysicist. Sleep well Charlotte, wherever you are. Sleep well Angle, Lynn and Waltman (who needs to be brought in to make the weak DX reunification a smidge less weak). Rest in peace, Chris Benoit. Rest uneasy, WalMart folk. Sleep well y'all.

Like Dashboard said, Sleep Well.