suavely deranged

To, you know, briefly summarize:

 

- no, didn't get married again; or divorced, for that matter

 

- tried absinthe at Luxor's centre bar, Liquidity: it's now available in the US and tastes slightly like sambuca or anisette whilst looking like Eno or Alka Seltzer mixed with water; something I can cross off My (revised) Bucket List:

: meet Mandy Moore

: kill someone, anyone

: date a stripper

: do porn

: fuck a black chick

: learn to play the guitar solo from Name by the Goo Goo Dolls

: try Heroin

: to quote the Beach Boys, 2 girls for every boy

: sell my screenplay

 

- got my 13th tat (infinity symbol, left forearm) at Hart & Huntington at my beloved The Palms; got taken on the cost, but, what the Hell, Vacation monies don't count- should've bargained, though

 

- saw Get Smart for $10. at an evening show. Anne Hathaway is fucking awesome!

 

- went to see The Veronicas (the reason for the entire trip) at the House of Blues; denied the promise of Kate Voegele (sigh), but discovered that Natasha Bedingfield can kinda wail and that I knew more of her songs than I'd suspected- plus, she's HOT. as were many of the jailbait in the audience at the show

 

- learned that they really DO give out free passes to the clubs on weeknights, even though LV was a lot busier this week than I'm used to; got passes to Moon, LAX, and 2X to Coyote Ugly

 

- the evening buffet at Luxor's More sucked...avoid

 

- the evening buffet at The Palms was awesome: steak, crab legs, hot hostesses (very few unattractive employees at said casino); in fact, if you've never been, GO...it is, bar none, the hippest casino in LV, even if I couldn't get into the Playboy Club. not that I, like, tried to or anything

 

- whilst watching hot bar folk dancing on top the bar, alls I could think about was ''when will they break out The Robot? can they be persuaded to do so?'' what can I say, I'm a smidge offbeat that way.

 

- spent WAY too much, I can't gamble for shit. smoked WAY too much, too; I am, however, good at that

 

- bought a stylin' and profilin'-type Perry Ellis sportcoat for 70% off

 

- got a free Joker T-shirt at The Palms...saw the trailer for the new Batman flick, Heath Ledger (R.I.P.) really does light up the screen in this one

 

- had a chick tell me to smile more (it happens more than you'd think) whilst I was traversing Fremont Street...sorry, honey, I ain't that kind of boy

 

- had a sweet room at New York New York...above the rollercoaster, and all for only $10/night more than, say, Excalibur

 

- realized the T Bay Rays might be for real after they swept Red Sox Nation

 

- spent more time off LV Blvd. (the, you know, Strip) than on it; way less crowded with tourists and such

 

- ran into one of my employees outside M&M's World, found out a much cuter one had been in town earlier in the week (breaks into an off-key chorus of It's A Small World After All); really should've gotten him and his BF to mule extra cartons of smokes acrost the border for me...alas, again, hindsight is 20/20

 

- still haven't been to Rio or the Hard Rock Hotel, yet another reason to go back. SOON

 

- lovin' (McLovin?) WGN America. now, If Only we got it hereabouts, not that I object to WGN Chicago

 

- picked up something thoughtful for the geophysicist; TV DVD's, which I can keep, should things go south...contingency plans rule

 

- caught Final Destination on the plane on my way to LV...you know, the one with the PLANE CRASH; good choice

 

- saw a preview of the forthcoming sitcom Worst Week...sucked

 

- the 7.5 with the premium tits in line at the checkout desk at NY NY who later ended up sitting across from me in the departure lounge at McCarren, thereby providing me ample op to, you know, stare at her rack and relax for the forthcoming flight; would've chalked it up to Fate if not for the 2 cockblocks (I'm guessing mom and aunt) accompanying her

 

- came up with my not-so-lame version of the infamous Did It Hurt? approach

: Did it hurt...getting beaten so hard with the ugly stick? (Only use on 9's or 10's, and you really need to be confident and in state to sell it. And, for the love of Mike, SMILE!)

 

- the ginger syrup at (One Night in) Paris Hilton's fave Chinese eatery in LV, Chin Chin was well worth the very reasonable price of the breakfast buffet

 

- still think Brett Favre will be coming out of retirement, likely not with the Pack, though

 

- am I the only one what don't get the appeal of Cirque du Soleil? after listening to music from KA over and over for an hour whilst working a penny slot machine for points, I kinda wanted to claw out my own eyes with a shrimp fork

 

- had a chick essentially leave her luggage with me at NY NY's bell desk...fucking nitwit just abandoned her bag without getting a claim check at the same time I was checking mine own bags in; if'n I hadn't been concerned about going over the monetary value I could claim upon reentry into Canada, I'd have kept her shit. oh well, probably just sex toys and frilly undergarments, anyway

 

- 110 degrees Fahrenheit (40 Celsius) don't seem so bad when there's no humidity

 

- Erin, the stewardess (whore of the sky? I'm not sure of the correct terminology) on my flight home was quite spectacular in a Jizz On My Glasses (if you don't know the site, look it up, it's worth the trip) kinda way

 

Nope, still ain't seen it all. Hope to, someday, though. Enjoy your Independence Day weekend, y'all. I, my ownself am avoiding the Yokel Jamboree currently taking place here in Calgary.