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Women of the Day 03/24/2008

In honor of Britney Spears making a cameo on tonight's episode of How I Met Your Mother. 2030 EST. 2130 MST.

And, of course, the fact that someone once close to me, someone I'd considered stable...has essentially let her chickdom show. In the sense that she's, essentially, to, you know, briefly summarize, flipped her lid. And then, someone from the old days, who's been somewhat off for years (although her heart's in the right place), has blown back into town. Insanity loves company, I reckon. And misery loves me.


So...today's list. Long overdue. See if y'all can pick out a pattern.


1) Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears (I'm pretty sure that the lawyers, the shrinks, the paparazzi and K Fed have said damn near all that needs to be said on this one, so I'll leave it be. however, since I've recently been kicked to the curb (see above), I'll be dusting off my pop culture-type openers, particularly the 'who's the bigger slut, Britney or Jamie Lynn?' and, of course, mine own little version of The Cube.)


2) Margot Kidder (yeah, you know. especially if y'all were coming up in the '80's, like I was. back in the day, she was kinda fly. and had seemingly no problem with ending up in the celebrity upskirt section of Beaver Hunt magazine. now, I don't know about you, but, to me, that just screams lady of class and taste. what? I ain't done one of these in, like, 6 months, I'm outta practice; they'll get better. besides, I simply pulled this little ''idea'' out the ether about 30 seconds afore I began typing. or, should I say, before I set them monkeys to flailing away at their cute little toy typewriters. and this mess is what resulted. note to self: monkeys at typewriters-type material is pure fucking gold.)


3) Tara Reid (yeah, the nipple slip was totally an accident. a mishap. a gaffe and/or faux pas, even. it's too bad about this one, too, as anyone who saw her in the timeless American Pie classics can attest, she was well on her merry way to joining the cinematic greats. maybe winning that Oscar, although, maybe she already did: it ain't like I'd ever catch one of them awards shows. I will admit that her travel program, think Wild On, but only with Tara Reid and her drunken leech friends; was kind of a hoot at times. of course, I'm the guy that roots for schadenfreude, too.)


4) Lindsay Lohan (if there in fact is a god (or whoever), she'll soon, along with Ms. Reid, go the Teri Weigel route, career-wise. again, I'm a simple man with simple dreams and aspirations. and I firmly (yeah, I went there) believe that Karma will provide on this one. although her version of I Want You to Want Me is damn near enough to make folks forget about all them other versions. or at least the Letters to Cleo cover.)


5) Amy Winehouse (nope, I don't know if it's art, but I know what I like. her cleaning up at the Grammy's was almost enough to restore my faith in...hmm, let's see...wait for it...nope, I got nothing. sue me. no, I wouldn't date her, and I ain't even got a bunny rabbit; and I wouldn't exactly lend her the keys to my car, but I do support her. what can I say, I'm an enabler.)


Again, consider this one practice. They'll get better. Or not. Whatever. Y'all know I pretty much just do shit just to do it.

The last month has been kinda stressful, what with discovering that my not having any values whatsoever but having me a pseudo (if legal) wife in Texas are apparently dealbreakers with some womenfolks. Who knew? Sadly, those are 2 of the scenarios that all the dating/pickup gurus I've been learning from haven't covered yet. On the plus side, at least she waited until after we spent Valentine's Day in fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada (she paid for the flights, I got the room;we split the rest) to spring this on me. During a full-contact Scrabble match. Why, yes, said revelation kinda DID fuck up my game that night. Very clever of her, n'est pas?

Added to the fact I was simultaneously in the process of getting ridden out of town on a rail at work. Good Times. Better timing.


Today's the first day I'll spend with your wife (or however that one goes). I gots me a new job, which I don't start until next week. I gots me some free time, which I've productively devoted to moping, dwelling, wallowing, hitting the books and avoiding Spring Cleaning. I've also attempted to add some folks I ain't seen in 6 months as friends on Facebook. To no avail.

Duh, I'm moping because UNLV got knocked out the Tournament already. Getting kicked to the curb is merely an incidental for me.

And I'm debating going to see Taylor Swift and whoever she's opening for tonight at the 'Dome. I do need to get me out the house more. Since my friends seem unable to procure for me and all. Although I AM going to be (once I start talking to her again) the ex-GF to pivot for me. She's totally the type that'll run the ''Hi, Have You Met Christian?'' opener for me.

Or not. Whatever. May Monday be YOUR bitch instead of vice versa.


And yes, I've told her how I feel. See previous post. Yes, it went about as well as expected. I just don't have time to find AND train someone else to buy me shit and be all pliable. Like. You know.


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