Season's Greetings and all the rest of that Yuletide rigamarole, y'all. I know it's been a spell since I've been around, what with being back on nights and Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over (Song of the Day- Fall Out Boy) and all; however, on the better late than pregnant front: my annual tribute to mindless tradition.
But first, a tip of the hat to an ugly and usually forgotten side of your humble narrator: I have to admit that I'm quite jealous of my lovely neighbor (you know, the one I once wasted like 2 years pining away for) at this very moment in time (nope, not even watching the timeless classic Teen Wolf on AMC can cure this, sigh), as she is spending this week in fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada. Which reminds me, I need to begin planning out mine own next retreat to my beloved home away from home.
Of course, I also need to pressure wash my current home. But that'll keep. Or, perhaps an insurance fire.
And no, I'm not terribly thrilled about having to work on New Year's Eve. Again. And when I say work, I mean 2200-900 or so.
1) to better suffer the stupidity of others, especially the cocksuckers I always tend to encounter in traffic and/or in parking lots; and y'all know who you are (yes, I vow this every year and usually end up relinquishing the ghost around January 3rd ish)
2) to fulfill my duties and obligations as Miss America to the best of my abilities (oops, sorry, wrong speech)
3) to be the best new President of Pakistan that I can possibly be (there, that's more like it)
4) peace on earth, goodwill towards men (nope, can't even TYPE that with a straight face)
5) Las Vegas on a weekend (now that I can afford it and all, may as well enjoy the better looking crowds therein)
6) premiums, premiums, everywhere premiums (especially taken ones; it is, after all, easier to borrow someone else's GF than to find and keep one of your own)
7) to learn something new every day (which entails reading the 600+ e-mails that I've accrued in my inbox the past 6 months that I've been a soulless corporate drone)
8) perfect that palmistry routine (this is your lifeline....this is your blowjob line....this line indicates that you'll soon meet a tall handsome man that'll captivate you completely; oh wait, that ship has sailed, hasn't it? I'm C)
9) at least one Women of the Day list per month
10) more ink, I've been at 12 for too long
11) stop drafting Ron Artest
12) draft Paul Pierce in at least 1 league
13) my shapely coworker before she leaves for a trip to India
14) wash my car for the first time ever (what? I've only had it a year and a half, and still haven't reached 15000 km; however many miles that might be)
15) master the intricacies of the coffeemaker that my GF gave me for xmas
16) conquer the many e-books I've downloaded the past year
17) more frequent contributions hereabouts, so's I can make me some Google AdSense moneys (feel free to aid me in this one)
18) continue my improvement from the AFC I used to be and never shall be again
19) kino. early. often. escalated.
Enjoy your Amateur Night (or, if y'all prefer, Monday), everybody. Be good and be safe. Especially since I'll be out in traffic with you drunkards this evening, making my somewhat less than merry way to work.