I think. I forget.
What the fuck is a Jonas Brother? I think that's their name, I was kinda listening to the American Music Awards last night, whilst checking my pools and doing me some homework (any time spent at home should be devoted to improving oneself in some small way; daily); when suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, a gaggle (you'll see why soon, wait for it) of hot teenage groupies (see, I told you it'd be worth it...back up, reread and use your imagination, I am) burst out of nowhere, storming the stage.
Now, being an afficionado (it's called a vocabulary; I ain't a Criminal, I can read, bitch) of hot teenage snatch on the hoof, I was intrigued by all the hubbub. What or whoever could all this fuss be about? Alas, like a child on xmas, disappointment ruled the day: it was just 3 chumps. Although, I must say that the Jack White wannabe guy likely gets all the pussy (he's got that vibe), with the other 2 merely pulling his leftovers. This will inevitably lead to dissension in the ranks and their can't be too soon dissolution. Hopefully with a murder/suicide dealio thrown in for good measure.
What can I say? 'Tis the season to be jolly. Fa la la and all the rest of it.
And yes, the Beyonce partial duet with them other folks did kind of frighten me a little.
I ran into The One in my parking lot yesterday, as I attempted to park, upon returning home from my dreary career (and yes, I have managed to convince some of my coworkers that I moonlight as a gigolo; god (or whoever) bless you ''back off honey, that shit ain't free''). Now I haven't seen her (for those of y'all what haven't been following my misadventures- shame on you- I wasted 2 years pining away for her once upon a time) since the summer, so I was surprised, to say the least. Caught off guard, even. She approached me (nope, I don't bother women in darkened parking lots, that's simply how I roll) and I was able to fluff talk with her just like a real boy. She and her fella will be in LV, staying at the Luxor (as I am next week), on New Year's Eve, should anyone wish to see what could make an alpha like I go totally beta.
And yes, she still looks fine. Still needs bigger tits, though.
Did I mention that the theory of forgetting one's one-itis by going out and banging half the phonebook TOTALLY works?
I was dismayed to discover that the ''that's it, we're breaking up'' gambit doesn't really work on foreign chicks all that well. I'm trying to pull a shapely East Indian (I think, which may be part of the problem, I should fucking KNOW) coworker, and drawing a complete blank. Nope, I won't dip my pen in the company ink. BANGING coworkers, however, is an entirely different fable. Anyway, my new fave approach (which has gotten me quite good results since it's adoption; yeah, like I ever come up with anything on my own, y'all know me better than that) seems to have lost something in the translation. However, IOI's remain frequent and hopes remain high. Back to the drawing board I go. Especially since I discovered yesterday that she's in the process of learning to become a financial advisor. Always let her babble on and on about what interests HER. She'll think you a great listener.
Or not. Whatever. Life is all about learning. The journey, not the destination. Maybe I'll just ask if she's on Facebook, my latest twist on the ''do you have e-mail?'' approach (thank you, David D.), which is much less obvious than ''what's your phone number?'' If all else fails, I suspect I can use one of the other supervisors to get me Closer to her. Why, yes, I'm totally a user. Isn't everybody?
Speaking of Facebook, I've managed to reconnect with an old friend from the old days, the woman I once offered to marry so she could get Canadian citizenship (I really need to dust off that story again, as it totally DHV's me and portrays me as a decent guy who has women friends; especially the part wherefore alls I asked in return was that she be, essentially, my houseboy, with no sexual strings attached whatsoever). Love me some Facebook. Need to use it more effectively. Find friends with hot female friends and get them to hook me up. Again, user. Anyway, I miss (yes, I do have feelings, too; my inner child is such the chick and yes, she likes other chicks) going for lunch and the occasional matinee with her. None of my other friends had similar schedules that permitted such things. 5 (ish) years is a long time to go without speaking with someone.
Wow, THAT was deep. Well, I'm off to call the pseudo-GF and take full advantage of this unpleasant mood I currently find myself in. Maybe it's just my time of the month. Maybe it was seeing The One again. Maybe it was Only getting to spend 20 minutes with my pops on Saturday afternoon (he drove down to bring my plane ticket and save me a trip home) because I was at work. Maybe it's me not being able to get transferred out of a shitty branch office (morale sucks; unfortunately, the shapeliest supervisor I hang with is the GF of a good friend, and I do have the odd principle, so I merely practice on her, treating her like (and calling her) my bratty little sister) and finding out that the new boss I plan to fuck is married. Which means extra work.
I hate extra work.