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  • So...

    ...Goodstock? Yeah, not so much.


    ...I awoke Sunday morning to discover a MySpace Friend Request from a 15 year old girl had been made to me the night before. Which is fine and not at all creepy. The sad thing is that said 15 year old girl was awake much later on Saturday night than my 34 year old ass was; having Gone to bed at 7 that night to be up for work at 6 a.m.


    ...After many episodes of the first 3 seasons of 21 Jump Street, I've developed a bit of a man crush on Johnny Depp. Especially his hair. And I've only Broken the surface on the Booker episodes, so shit may just get kinda weirdly hereabouts. I do believe I'll be having me a Depp film festival (likely Sleepy Hollow, Once Upon a Time in Mexico and From Hell) on my blessed day off today. Perhaps I'll even find time to watch the classic Richard Grieco vehicle If Looks Could Kill as well.


    ...I've managed to progress my geophysicist from tying my ties to ironing my shirts. Merely baby steps on the way to getting her to wash my car.


    ...Carla Gugino (LOVE that rack) on Entourage. This show just keeps getting better. Even if I've missed an early episode or 2.

    And whatever happened to Veronica Mars and One Tree Hill?


    ...Yesterday morning at work I found myself with the challenge of inventorying feminine hygiene products. Yay, me! Anyway, an attractive young Yellow Fever-type employee chick showed up to do her thing during the course of my labors. She starts in immediately telling me how she has a headache from being out all night drinking. Naturally, I look at her, look around at all the pads and whatnot and say ''hey, that's terrible, but I'm not your emotional tampon.''

    She just stares at me. And then tells me I'm mean. Yeah, I get that a lot. Didn't stop her from talking to me though.


    ...As far as I know, my first bonus cheque from my new soulless corporate drone-type gig will be forthcoming on Thursday. Shit best be impressive, because otherwise...let's just say that I'm more than receptive to beginning my 3rd new upwardly mobile position in the past year.


    ...Don Ho has left us. And yet Dr. Phil continues to plague mankind. Yeah, god (or whoever) is dead.


    ...I'm watching a behind the scenes Movie of the Week about Three's Company (somehow, the humor just hasn't translated well for me over the years, even though I loved the show when I was coming up), and the chicks portraying Chrissy and Janet are WAY finer than Chrissy and Janet ever were. Yeah, like I care about their real names. Jack's doppelganger was pretty identical, though.

    And the one playing Terri (always my personal fave) had a much bigger rack than her predecessor. Good Times.


    ...I've been managing to vibe with my one-itis of late. Yes, I realize that I wasted time pining for her, but now I'm more than happy to practice on her. With no expectations, there is no pressure. Or something. It really sounded a lot better in my pretty little head.

    And yes, I told her we're broke up and I want my CD's and DVD's back. I'm quite fond of that one and use it all the time now.


    ...It's good to see Cincinnati Reds outfielder Josh Hamilton has overcome his demons. As someone who daily fights a steel cage match with his own, I'm totally pulling for him. And you should, too. The hairstyle, however, needs some work. It could be worse, though, it really could. At least it's not a mullet.

    And yes, I'm more than confident enough in my masculinity to point out the attractive features of other males. Fucking sue me.


    A full day of doing absofuckinglutely Nothing awaits, so enjoy your Monday, y'all. Raise a glass or several of Absolut or Stoli to the recently departed Boris Yeltsin.

  • A Hard Lesson, but a Valuable One

    So, as I'm patiently sitting in yield mode at a green light during Rush Hour, in the driving snow (why yes, spring really HAS sprung hereabouts, thanks for asking), on my merry way home from work today; half awake and nowhere near asleep enough...the jerkoff behind me speeds around me and attempts to turn on yellow; completely, blissfully ignorant of the small factoid that other jerkoffs proceeding the other way (including one who ended up running the red light; but only by about 5 or 10 seconds) were also ignoring the fact that the light was about to change.

    I just shook my head, laughed, and turned up the first Doors disc in my car player. It's a good thing I no longer have an ego, otherwise this shit might upset me.


    Song of the Day: Three Days Grace-Riot. Just because.


    I think I've finally found someone who'll look at me like I'm the opposite of civilization. I find it completely fucking baffling that my nitwit (World Revolves Around Me-type) coworker (who, as far as I'm concerned, is pretty much just there to do the paperwork for grownup folks) seems to have some sort of issue with little old me. Oh well, c'est la vie. SO not my crisis. I merely keep reminding myself that other folks are doing the best they can with the resources available to them.

    Nope, it doesn't work. But still I try. Even when she attempts to blame me for her gaffes. Fucking idiot. Quit being a child and take responsibility for your shit.


    Reason #317 whyfore I despise my soulless corporate drone-type gig:

    The damn near complete dearth of premiums in our management core upon which to practice (remember, kiddies, EVERYONE'S practice) has caused my slowly flowering skills to erode somewhat. Setbacks fucking suck, don't they? As I was making my merry way from my car into the complex at which last night's volleyball festivities were held...a premium opened me by talking about the weather. Now, if I wasn't surrounded by discounts all the livelong day, I'd have made with the ''you're going to have to do better than that if you're trying to pick me up'' variation on the cocky/funny gambit. All said with a naughty smile, naturellement. But, alas, I simply played it straight up; thereby killing any and all attraction she might have felt for your humble narrator.

    And back to the drawing board I go. Enjoy your Humpday, y'all.

  • Post #42

    Okay, it's not really, but in honor of Jackie Robinson Day in Major League Baseball; today, it is.


    All right, Bangme.net is a Cool site. However, being a guy...I'd vote yes for most of the 'talent' therein. What they really need is a site entitled Bang Me and Tell Your Friends. That would separate the wheat from the proverbial chaff, percentage-wise. Because, let's face it: sometimes there's nothing on TV and noone has to know.


    And, since it's also Holocaust Remembrance Day, all y'all should be out picketing a Volkswagen factory or dealership somewhere. I would be, but I just dragged myself homeward, smelling like pussy; from a productive weekend of maybe 15 episodes of 21 Jump Street on DVD (I wonder whatever became of that Depp kid, he had moxy; or is it moxie? whatever...SO not the point) and various hijinks/hilarity. Good Times. Solid Game. Effortless, even.

    If Only she were a Premium. Sigh.


    Happy to report that I've played matchmaker for a LDR between and betwixt quite possibly the 2 most gullible individuals in all of Alberta. Hopefully, I won't have to instruct them in the wonderful products that result from the cultivation and harvesting of the rubber tree plant. Some folks simply shouldn't Breed. Yeah, likely you, too. Definitely me.

    And no, nofuckingbody should EVER bore me with tales of the activities and whatnot of their spawn. Ever. Don't care. Try to find something interesting to discuss. Otherwise, shut the fuck UP. And down of the soapbox I go.


    Don't you just hate it when you dream about your place and type of employ? I know that whenever I do, I'm awake. My day has begun.


    All right, I'm off to watch Mandy Moore's performance on last week's Brick (?????) Awards. Be excellent to each other.