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So...

...Goodstock? Yeah, not so much.

 

...I awoke Sunday morning to discover a MySpace Friend Request from a 15 year old girl had been made to me the night before. Which is fine and not at all creepy. The sad thing is that said 15 year old girl was awake much later on Saturday night than my 34 year old ass was; having Gone to bed at 7 that night to be up for work at 6 a.m.

 

...After many episodes of the first 3 seasons of 21 Jump Street, I've developed a bit of a man crush on Johnny Depp. Especially his hair. And I've only Broken the surface on the Booker episodes, so shit may just get kinda weirdly hereabouts. I do believe I'll be having me a Depp film festival (likely Sleepy Hollow, Once Upon a Time in Mexico and From Hell) on my blessed day off today. Perhaps I'll even find time to watch the classic Richard Grieco vehicle If Looks Could Kill as well.

 

...I've managed to progress my geophysicist from tying my ties to ironing my shirts. Merely baby steps on the way to getting her to wash my car.

 

...Carla Gugino (LOVE that rack) on Entourage. This show just keeps getting better. Even if I've missed an early episode or 2.

And whatever happened to Veronica Mars and One Tree Hill?

 

...Yesterday morning at work I found myself with the challenge of inventorying feminine hygiene products. Yay, me! Anyway, an attractive young Yellow Fever-type employee chick showed up to do her thing during the course of my labors. She starts in immediately telling me how she has a headache from being out all night drinking. Naturally, I look at her, look around at all the pads and whatnot and say ''hey, that's terrible, but I'm not your emotional tampon.''

She just stares at me. And then tells me I'm mean. Yeah, I get that a lot. Didn't stop her from talking to me though.

 

...As far as I know, my first bonus cheque from my new soulless corporate drone-type gig will be forthcoming on Thursday. Shit best be impressive, because otherwise...let's just say that I'm more than receptive to beginning my 3rd new upwardly mobile position in the past year.

 

...Don Ho has left us. And yet Dr. Phil continues to plague mankind. Yeah, god (or whoever) is dead.

 

...I'm watching a behind the scenes Movie of the Week about Three's Company (somehow, the humor just hasn't translated well for me over the years, even though I loved the show when I was coming up), and the chicks portraying Chrissy and Janet are WAY finer than Chrissy and Janet ever were. Yeah, like I care about their real names. Jack's doppelganger was pretty identical, though.

And the one playing Terri (always my personal fave) had a much bigger rack than her predecessor. Good Times.

 

...I've been managing to vibe with my one-itis of late. Yes, I realize that I wasted time pining for her, but now I'm more than happy to practice on her. With no expectations, there is no pressure. Or something. It really sounded a lot better in my pretty little head.

And yes, I told her we're broke up and I want my CD's and DVD's back. I'm quite fond of that one and use it all the time now.

 

...It's good to see Cincinnati Reds outfielder Josh Hamilton has overcome his demons. As someone who daily fights a steel cage match with his own, I'm totally pulling for him. And you should, too. The hairstyle, however, needs some work. It could be worse, though, it really could. At least it's not a mullet.

And yes, I'm more than confident enough in my masculinity to point out the attractive features of other males. Fucking sue me.

 

A full day of doing absofuckinglutely Nothing awaits, so enjoy your Monday, y'all. Raise a glass or several of Absolut or Stoli to the recently departed Boris Yeltsin.

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