I'm doing pretty well on those of '06. Other than getting a passport and reading The Iliad (although I do have a copy in my possession; yay, me!)
So why not take a stab at new ones? And, no, I won't be vowing to quit smoking. Too cliche.
Especially now that I've learned that the one-itis and my brand new LJBF (as far as I know, as we're still working out parameters; I totally hit the ASD after I made her break her no kissing on the first date rule...so, yes, LJBF; even if she keeps denying it. fuck yeah, I'm working the FB angle, as PM Dawn said, ''what would you do in my position?") smoke. I discovered this about my new friend whilst we spent the afternoon knocking back beers and shooting pool this afternoon. I also learned that our birthdays are 2 days (and 4 years) apart and that she also likes Kelly Clarkson's Since U Been Gone. Anyway, we'll see what happens, likely nothing good...I slipped up and complimented her. Although it was honest. But we split the tab, so I haven't Gone completely AFC yet. Or, should I say, reverted to AFC yet. And a 3rd outing is apparently fine. Whatever. The Mavericks and the Suns tip off in 12 minutes. I have another woman to call sometime this evening, who has suggested drinks, and a 3rd is due back from Vacation soon. However, since I like this one best (what can I say? she's cute and has a nice rack; kicked my goofy ass at pool, too)...I'm fucked. The proverbial six ways from (Song of the Day: Extreme- Seven) Sunday (s in a row). She told me to call her, I know, I'm totally letting her lead. Like I said, just working my way back from a really deep pit of wearing my self-loathing as a badge of pride. And yes, I realize I should've told her to call me; the best I had was ''answer''. Baby steps. And I AM tipsy. Fucking lightweight what I am. Anyway, I keep making all kinds of mistakes. But now I realize what they are. And no, I haven't stooped to being her emotional tampon yet. Nor will I.
But I digress. Skid Row on the stereo. Visions of Nash to Marion dancing through my pretty little head. The list:
1) stay the fuck out my own way- this will solve all my sticking points as best as I'm able
2) stop over-analyzing everything, just Be Here Now (possibly my next tat)- channel my inner Captain Caveman; no think, just be, just DO
That's it. That's all. All stems from those 2 things. Oh, I'll probably smoke MORE again this year and try to better deal with the inadequacies of others, but those are the big ones. Best of luck to y'all with yourn resolutions. I'm kinda sad today. No, not because of that. I've met the one, D's not her. Because 23 years ago yesterday, I lost my favorite uncle to a car accident. Christmas has kinda sucked ever since. Although this year's (especially the promise of mine divorce) been pretty solid. Almost enough to make me reframe. But not quite. Not yet. More work to be done. Oh, I'll call her: make the ho say no, n'est pas? Besides, she's on Vacation until the 8th, which meshes nicely with mine own schedule of dilettantism. And I did do some things correctly. I polished up my palm reading bit. I ran a variation on Mystery's photo routine (to get her comfortable with me taking digital pictures of her). And I hugged her like I meant it (even if I forgot to smell her hair; again). Cracked her back, too. Sometimes I don't know mine own strength. Didn't offer to pay for everything. She was there before me. She paid for pool. Yes, I still need to work on frequent and early casual touching and eye contact, but I have to begin somewhere. Let's just say that she has definite pivot potential, and, at this juncture (Santa brought me a vocabulary for xmas); that's Good Enough.
All right, game time and I need a shower. Gots to wash the failure (it's not failure, it's feedback) off'n me. I received a can you come into work tonight-type plea whilst out and about, which I'm ducking. Even though it's straight OT. Just because I'm in no shape to drive (aren't I responsible, though?), don't feel like taking the bus, and REALLY need a nap. As y'all can tell by my rambling. Peace.