Women are the wave of the future. Wonder Woman said that, so y'all fucking KNOW it to be true. So I spent some quality time yesterday, reliving my youthful innocence, perusing Season I of the TV series and I have to say, that Lynda Carter was fucking F.I.N.E. fine. Some other thoughts:
- an entire island filled with exclusively women? fucking Expedia.ca never offers a package tour there and they really should
- the lasso of Truth would really come in handy on the interpersonal relations front, would it not?
- the simple beauty and timeless eloquence of the catfight will never go out of Vogue
- camp kinda rocks
- if'n I had me a womenfolks, I'd purchase her a Wonder Woman costume; just for those special romantic evenings when there's sweet fuck all on TV...I would wear the tiara, I'm just like that sometimes
- the Nazis were bad mens
- where can I get me an invisible plane and why doesn't anyone seem to notice hot snatch in a pretty costume floating seemingly in midair?
- I quite enjoy when she spins around in slow motion and removes her workaday costume in favor of her action clothes
What'd you expect? An in-depth analysis, perhaps? Sorry, I was kinda distracted by the costume.
Happy Flying Saucer Day, y'all. Abductions and anal probes for everyone in your life what really needs them. That guy what cut you off in traffic. The neighbor who mows his lawn in the early a.m. The loud woman on her cellphone whilst the movie is beginning. You know who I'm talking about.
Canada's Age of Consent WAS 14 (now 16)? Why didn't anyone think to mention this to me, the guy what lives mere blocks away from a high school? That's the kind of information that folks might actually find useful. Sigh. Again, really really REALLY need to get me some new friends.
Yesterday, my boy Jay (him I'll keep) asked me to rank and/or rate the various K's (don't ask how it came up in conversation as I've NO idea my ownself; one minute we were discussing the mighty Ukraine's win at that soccer thing and the next...) our little softball squad has featured over the years. I'd never really given it much thought before, now I can't think of much else but.
I'm kinda surprised that my 'rents haven't forwarded me news about the tattoo-related MRSA infections in the U.S. in 2004 and 2005. That's the kind of thing they like to do. Which is whyfore I sometimes tell folks that I'm an orphan.
I wanted to reach you but I don't know where to begin.
I can't believe that I failed to offer to get K(1) out of them wet things that night when we all got caught in the driving Rain and the hailstorm. No wonder then that I'm still a singleton. Sadly, even my hindsight is far from 20/20. However, Monday is another day of softball and another chance to make a complete chump of myself in her presence. Good Times.
Deepest condolences to the family, friends and fans of (Saint of the Day:) Aaron Spelling on his recent passing. In this wasteland of reality shows, the quality programming he provided tout le monde is sorely missed.
A hearty much obliged to homeowners insurance for stopping by (again, friends, acquaintances, complete fucking strangers; resources available) and leaving a stirring pep talk-type comment. Y'all are the real reason I do whatever it is that I pretend to do hereabouts and I think you know that.
Does anybody else miss the days when criminals dressed with a little bit of style, flair, savoir faire and panache? Why do you think Armani did the costumes for The Untouchables? These days they all seem to be rocking the Salvation Army chic.
1) Jenna Jameson (what can I say? I Desperately need the traffic as yet another month draws to a close. I do think it's kinda neat how she's turned her phenomenal frame and abilities to her own advantage and become an authrix and an entrepreneur. a fine role model for all women, as it turns out. get them implants, girls. let your BF or that guy you just picked up in a bar film you smoking rope. hey, just trying to help, to provide career options and shit.)
2) Gertrude Jekyll (British artist, landscape gardener and crafts artist. as someone who really needs to channel his inner Mr. Hyde much more often, I simply dug the name.)
3) Amanda Johnson (5'10'' 34-24-35 British model who has worked for Nivea (oh, I'd give her a facial, all right) amongst many others. I'm trying to overcome my innate distrust for and dislike of the British and I simply love her smile, fucking sue me.)
4) Chona Jason (former Playboy model turned B-movie star of such classics as Hard As Nails, SHIRA: The Vampire Samurai and Dragon Fury. lithe frame, exquisite countenance, perfect nipples and aureolae; how much?)
5) Lauren Jackson (6'5'' Australian Center for the Seattle Storm of the WNBA whose birthdate falls one day and many years after mine own. former WNBA MVP and, if memory serves, rather than masters; she's posed Naked.)
Off to watch yesterday's 90210 rerun and Season III episode of Entourage before contemplating Monday night's chance to burn some more bridges whilst square amidst them. Then, pie. Enjoy your Saturday and the NHL Entry Draft today,y'all. Barbecue something, perhaps. And watch for them pretty colored lights in the nighttime skies, because they'll be watching for YOU.