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  • I always mention the word addiction

    Regardless of the company. Just another of the myriad of ways in which I roll. Actually, there ain't really a great deal I won't talk about (other than the price of tea in China, of course) in mixed company. Loudly. At great length.

     

    How would one go about getting hisself on msn's Site of the Day feature? Just as a prelude to making Rolling Stone's Hot List, naturellement.

    Oh yeah, content. Ideas. All that sort of thing. Too bad about that one, then.

     

    I never really featured the concept of inner beauty until I was fortunate enough to meet her. She glows ethereally. Now, don't get me wrong; the outer, surface package is damn solid, too. But it's what's inside that sets her apart and continues to draw me to her. And she doesn't even seem to be aware of it, it's just instinctive, effortless.

    Simple. Practical. Graceful. Elegant. Rarely much in the way of makeup. Her own personal style.

    Song of the Night: the Goo Goo Dolls- Can't Let it Go. 2 birds with one stone time. Something off Let Love In and it's also relatively appropriate to my mood this Gloomy Sunday.

     

    I'm really beginning to like them Aly & A.J. chicks. Oh, really? They sing, too? Good for them. Don't care. I've been seeing Aly on some show called Phil of the Future (love love LOVE me some the Family Channel) and, given their (I'm almost positive that they're twins; I know they're sisters) last name...they may just be the kind of good Ukrainian girls that the 'rents always wanted me to end up with.

     

    Being a future member of the Young Republicans of America and all, I do believe that I'll be purchasing me one of them there ethanol stills with the ill-gotten gains from my forthcoming transfer/promotion at work. This will simultaneously allow me to earn some extra cash moneys and to thumb my nose at The Man. Good Times.

    I'm sensing a great deal of folks with bathtub-type operations and a new Prohibition sometime in the near future, but I'll double check with the Magic 8-Ball and get back to y'all.

     

    The only pictures I've ever taken in which I'm smiling are them damn mugshots.

     

    Whenever I find myself in a bad place spiritually (which happens even more than I let on), I look at travel guides to my beloved Las Vegas, Nevada and all is right with my world for a spell.

    Especially now with this G-string trial dealio going on. Oh, how I miss those heady days when the mob and corruption were commonplace thereabouts. No fucking children allowed. I only like children when they're cooked properly.

     

    The Lakers beat Phoenix again tonight? Wow. I reckon Kobe's figures he's got a bunch of things to prove to the world. I reckon he's right.

     

    On the difficult but invaluable lesson tip: romance is a wonderful thing (said the guy what got married after an 11 hour courtship) but, alas, sooner or later reality intrudes (said the guy what got kicked to the curb via e-mail after roughly 6 weeks). And all you're left with is a stupid T-shirt and this great big fucking HOLE. Perhaps a tat, too.

    So, be sure you're, like, compatible and shit before rushing into anything. Ladies, if you simply NEED that last guilt-free, no strings attached fling...I'm your huckleberry. Just dial 1-800-HUNG-LOW, operators are standing by. But only if you don't object to having somebody go down on you for hours on end first, I know some womenfolks don't really care for such things.

     

    I Wish I had me a nickel for every time I've had to answer the phone with ''bitch fucking SHOT me.'' After all, I've me an ethanol still to purchase. Although...if somebody'd click on some ads and use the search bar. And that's all I'm gonna say. Follow your consciences on this one.

    Me, I scraped Jiminy Cricket off my shoe many a moon ago.

     

    I'm the personification of the theory that a man is a reflection of what he drives.

     

    Sleep well, kiddies, I'm off to do whatever it is that I do at night. Until manana.

  • Women of the Day 04/30/06

    It's a damn good thing there's all that water down there, because I seem to have started this bridge on fire. Again.

    Oh, wait, that's right. I don't know how to swim.

     

    I scored 7 on the wonderlic test. If Only I could run a sub 4.4 40 and throw the out route accurately. Then I, too, could become an NFL Quarterback. Then it'd be all the groupies I could eat.

    It turns out you can deepfry damn near anything and make it taste good.

     

    This morning I awoke from a dream of dealing a nice, pure, and I'm pretty sure underage girl her first anal. Sure, initially she cried (as such folks are wont to do on occasion); but, as events proceeded, she became kinda wild and then eventually took control entirely. Again, even my subconscious is totally out to get me.

     

    It seems that California has joined Illinois in introducing an impeach Bush proposal in its state legislature. Who will be next to jump atop the bandwagon? Stay tuned.

    I'm guessing Louisiana. I'm thinking that the New Orleans Saints 2nd overall selection of Reggie Bush is only going to end badly for all concerned. They already have Deuce McAllister and Michael Bennett at the tailback position and I suspect that his contract demands will be outlandish.

    Oh, really? This is about another Bush? Never mind, then. My bad.

    Matt Leinart and the Arizona Cardinals will be a good fit, though.

     

    A new Lindsay Lohan movie. Stop the madness. It could be worse, though. It really could. She could be putting out (well, okay, she SHOULD be doing that) another new album.

    Actually, she's a decent actress, good screen presence. If Only she'd devote that luscious frame to, you know, porn.

     

    It's getting to the point where I've become kinda sorta phobic about womenfolks that have a K or even a hard C any-fucking-where in their name. And god (or whoever) forbid they should have both. Other than Kelly Clarkson, of course.

    2 hot new complete strangers have added me as a friend on My Space.com., naturally one of them has a first name beginning with K (despite my protests against such women therein; but she IS that fine, and nothing I believe in is more than a guideline, anyway) and the other a hard C in the middle of her name.

     

    Happy Birthday to Kirsten Dunst (the wet T-shirt footage in the SpiderMan flicks) and Isiah Thomas (continually providing the if he can be an NBA general manager, damn near anybody can factor) on this Pleasant Valley Sunday.

     

    I never really noticed how many folks are wandering around with MP3 players, iPods and such until I became one of them. It's nice to belong to a group sometimes, I guess.

     

    It's kinda neat hearing Anna Nalick's Breathe (2 a.m.), a personal fave on today's rerun of Joan of Arcadia. Sometimes god (or whoever) really is in the details.

     

    The list:

     

    1) Helen Gurley Brown (authrix of Sex and the Single Girl and captain of the good ship Cosmopolitan. yes, I've read the book and yes I peruse the magazine from time to time.)

     

    2) Elvia Niebla (in 1989 she became the coordinator for global change research in the U.S. Forest Service. she manages the science research program on global change in forests.)

     

    3) Agatha Relota (5'10'' Elite Model of Croatian descent who has worked for Chanel, Nordstrom and Yves Saint Laurent amongst many others. I was once smitten with a very fine, very tall shapely young adorable of Croatian descent named Mina.)

     

    4) Amy and Katy Red (hot cocksucking twins with tight little hardbodies and perky little breastesses. I'm a big fan of their work and y'all will be, too. did I mention that they're twins?)

     

    5) Marita Payne (6'5'' Australian Center from Auburn University drafted by the Connecticut Sun of the WNBA recently. leaves Auburn as the #2 shot blocker in SEC history. insert your own cock blocking-type joke here, as I simply refuse. not that I'm above it or anything, I simply couldn't come up with a viable one.)

     

    Time for Simon & Simon and perhaps some breakfast. I'll resurface again later. Peace be unto y'all.

     

  • Things that are Cool

    In honor of my beloved New Jersey Devils (in a 4 game sweep, no less) being the first team to advance in this year's NHL Playoffs and because I'm feeling a bit empty and lethargic today; yet another in a seemingly endless line of lists y'all can expect to see hereabouts. In no particular order:

    - the initial click when you meet and connect with someone new; often the best, headiest part of the entire relationship

    - Janine Lindemulder's tattoos and the fact that she's finally doing action films with men

    - Dakoda Dowd and Michelle Wie; underage pro golfers=traffic

    - the guitar solo in the middle of Name by the Goo Goo Dolls

    - the zipless fuck

    - finding an unbelievable bargain of concert and/or event tickets on the Evil Empire Ticketmaster.com

    - the women of the Family Channel

    - locating that book you've been meaning to read when you least expect it

    - when impulsiveness doesn't lead to tragedy

    - a complete stranger telling you how tired you look

    - Jenny McCarthy; especially now that she's single again

    - the fact that maybe the final match of the World Cup will be televised here, if that

    - the lack of open liquor and/or anti-smoking laws in Las Vegas

    - the song titles and lyrics of Fall Out Boy

    - the completely goofy and whimsical

    - making bail, having charges dropped and/or witnesses vanish mysteriously

    - ice, snow, sleet, freezing rain, lemonade on a hot summer's day

    - my neighborhood (2 senior citizens' centres; a college; a high school; a troubled teen centre; My Hot New Neighbor; the delightful K; central location close to downtown and amenities)

    - the smell of rain on a hot summer's night

    - the Bermuda Triangle

    - the way she smells and tastes and getting to worship at her altar

    - when you are able to do something, no matter how small for someone you care about; especially if it's unexpected

    - adult literacy

    - folks what realize that the earth is, in fact, round and they're not the centre of the universe

    - little girls (legal, of course) with big racks

    - cancelled TV shows with numerous car chases used to cover up massive holes in the script

    - women what shave shapes or letters or what have you into their Bush

    - that first cigarette when you wake up; hell, the very first slow, deep drag

    - womenfolks what kick ass in professions formerly considered to be the sole provenance of menfolks

    - making shit up as I go along, pretty much flying by the seat of my pants

    - nailing your ex's best friend, sister, mom, cousin, some combination therein

    - cheering for the underdog, even when they become league powerhouses

    - Mandy Moore; in damn near any endeavour she wishes to undertake

    - twins

    - womenfolks with piercings and/or ink in interesting locations

    - Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway album

    - when someone whose company you enjoy considers you in a new way

    - that which is shiny

    - friends that I can trust to remind me to Breathe, as I sometimes forget

    - knowing that tomorrow is the first day of your Vacation

    - concert albums, even if they're predominantly released to buy the band time to develop some new material

    - cover tunes, especially if they're nowhere near faithful to the original

    - the way your makeup stains my pillowcase

    - cartoons that aren't purely designed to increase toy sales

    - Alec Baldwin's hair

    - Chris Isaak's driving helmet story and his cancelled TV show

    - folks what don't watch reality shows

    - Natalie Portman's perky little A-cups

    - dreaming about the ordinary and commonplace

    - soft-core porn, as it sometimes has the best looking womenfolks

    - working out your anger issues in a socially acceptable way

    - the smell of vanilla

    - knowing enough to quit when you're behind

     

    And, on that note, I shall. Enjoy your Saturday afternnon, y'all. Expect a list of things that suck roughly whenever I get around to it-ish. Or, perhaps even another stab at this list. Or more additions as they occur to me. Y'all know I've only got the 3 fully functioning brain cells.