suavely deranged

I still contend that it was in fact Kato (noone could possibly seem that useless by accident, it requires practice and an ugly ulterior motive) and not O.J. what did it. History will bear me out on this one. Just you wait and see. The truth WILL be revealed. Dammit.

 

3 hours et 2 minutes until I visit my friendly neighborhood dentist.

 

You ain't really lived until you've seen a stripper take a man's glasses off his face and wear them on her wet pussy. Damn but I miss college sometimes. First year, for a football player's birthday, a bunch of us rented said stripper. So there's like 10 or 15 guys and this Naked woman (and, presumably her firearm) in a dorm room the size of a prison cell. And yet, trouble, and pending charges; were somehow avoided.

Good Times. Good people. Absent friends. Better Days. Oh yeah, and clarity. That there is the toast I was pondering offering up on Valentines Day, but simply couldn't work up the energy to, you know, bother. See, I really AM deep like dirty water.

 

Song of the Day: Matthew Sweet- Sick of Myself. This is what I like to laughingly refer to as foreshadowing. You'll see.

 

So I'm in line at my local bank yesterday, patiently waiting to complete the little bi-weekly transaction I like to refer to as throwing money at my mortgage; when this old decrepit fella (who smelled strangely of cobwebs and sawdust) enters the bank and begins a pathetic attempt at flirtation with a young A-cup Honey-type teller (cute, blonde, petite breastesses) folk. Again, it was like staring into a crystal ball and seeing my own future, and all systems essentially shut down. Needless to say (but, as always, I'ma say it anyway), the entire day was shot and I immediately upon finishing my bidness proceeded to my local Safeway and bought all the fixings for another little ritual what I like to refer to as a refined sugar binge. Naturally, this will Only serve to fuck UP my complexion and make me feel worse. Which is kinda the point, ain't it? And yes, I had to physically restrain myself from going with worser on this one.

 

I watched Napoleon Dynamite yesterday, it was on Movie Central, so fortuitously I didn't actually PAY to watch this fucking pile. I'm SO not feeling the hype, although Tina Majorino, and her gravity-defying hairstyle, was, as usual, a breath of fresh air. I really do hope that they make her a regular cast member of Veronica Mars; instead of merely an occasional guest star.

I also watched the NBA Rookie Challenge Game, and I'm developing a bit of a Man Crush on Philadelphia 76'ers forward/guard Andre Iguodala. 30 points on 9 dunks (which is impressive, even for an All Star-type tilt) and 4 threes. And they were impressive dunks, too. Lobs, steals, in traffic, pretty much the entire gamut. Defending champion Josh Smith may have to watch his back in tonight's Slam Dunk Contest. Hopefully 76'ers management were watching the game and will give A.I.(2) a larger role in the offence. He's a superstar in the making.

 

I remember, as an impressionable youth, looking through my 'rents LPs and cassettes (I bet some of you do, too; your own folks collections, of course) and learning about music and what I liked and disliked along the way. It was an important rite of passage. I, myself, now have hundreds of cassettes and CDs, which I'll pass on to somebody's kids, as I won't be having any of my own. I suppose this sort of collection is almost as good, but with the current trend towards MP3's (all kinds of troubles hooking my new player up yesterday) and burning downloaded tunes onto discs, what kind of legacy is that? Future generations will miss out on something important, memorable, and nice; for lack of a better word. A chance to learn about yourself and your parents and to, you know, bond with them. Nope, not expressing this well, but when do I ever? Anyway, I think y'all can see what I'm driving at, as you're pretty sharp.

Did I mention I'm going to the dentist (2 hr. 28 min.) today? I always get all philosophical and morose when I have to actually leave the Manor.

 

So it seems that there's a group of religious zealots called the Elim Pentecostals that believe every single word of the bible to be true. I'm of pretty much the exact opposite Bent on this one: other than that whole chick being turned into a pillar of salt dealio, I think the whole thing is essentially fairy tales for grownups what should know better. And, as far as I'm concerned, any religion that doesn't involve the handling of, you know, snakes; is pretty much just a cult. Mmmm...Kool Aid.

 

The list (since I began Pattern Week by paying homage to a friend, I'ma end it with someone good who makes me feel kinda bad; through no fault of her own):

 

1) Karen (the hot 17 year old cashier at my then-local Safeway whose digits I asked for and received when I was 20ish (I didn't realize she was jail bait until AFTER I'd called her, my conscience is clear); naturally, Nothing ever came of it (otherwise I'd be typing this from jail), but it was still a happy day. especially since I'd thought she'd been flirting more intently with my boy Jay, but he saw it otherwise; sometimes, taking a chance does pay off. even for me.)

 

2) Karen Palms (couldn't resist the name, it made me giggle...because of the hotel in LV, you fucking pervs. but seriously, WOW. her tight little frame is quite impressive, especially her prominent and beautiful labia.)

 

3) Karen Ferrari (oh, how I'd like to drive THIS one, although I strongly suspect she's much too fast for me. again, sorry, best I could come up with. supermodel, yet another beautiful South African export.)

 

4) Karen Cliche (sadly, it's pronounced kleesh, y'all know how I love me some cliches; but eye-catching nonetheless. some lovely Canadian content, formerly starred on YTV's Vampire High and as Lexa Pierce on Mutant X. former McDonald's employee turned model turned actress.)

 

5) Karen Carpenter (tragically taken from us due to (please don't burn me at the stake for this one, as I can totally relate) Self-Esteem issues, which lead to her anorexia. her uniquely beautiful voice was completely pure and natural, with no formal vocal training whatsoever. yeah, I know, their songs were kinda lightweight, but The Carpenters have sold like 100 million albums, so a bunch of Somebody must like them; even if noone will admit it in mixed company.)

 

1 hr. 56 min. Whilst I've been typing, I've been waiting for the Canada/Switzerland men's hockey game to start and flipping channels between that and the Family Channel. That Jamie-Lynn Spears and the other young ladies on Zoey 101 are what we like to refer to as future prospects. Anneliese van der Pol on That's So Raven, on the other hand (do with that whatever you will, I'm taking the high road) is a fully grown, fully fine, amply endowed red-headed woman. All right, I'm off to e-mail the City of Calgary with regard to my property tax queries and then to the dentist. Enjoy your Saturday. For me, since mine's gonna kinda suck.