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  • Women of the Day 01/31/06

    So I reckon it was about the time I found myself doing a severely fucked up variation of The Robot to Horse With No Name that I realized I just might be a tinge off. Might, mind you. Y'all know how I feel about committing to anything these days.

    Just as a for instance: other than my daily little tin of applesauce, I don't eat fruit. I laugh in the face of scurvy, rickets, and all that sort of thing. Fucking bring it. I'm here.

     

    One month nearly down, and, thus far the resolutions are still in fairly good shape. Yay, me! The year itself? So far, not so much. But last year started off slowly, too. Hell, pretty much every year does.

     

    It may have even been Nu, but y'all know my fact checking (spelling, too) department is pretty much on Permanent Vacation at my beloved the Palms. Hey, guys, tell Jenny I said hello whilst you're there. If'n y'all see her.

    Speaking of which, this week's instalment of Party @ the Palms had a feature on Las Vegas weddings. Holy deja vu, Batman. On the plus side, watching Leeann Tweeden grab Jenny McCarthy's ass when they hugged was more than worth the price of admission. Yes, I'm learning to take the bad with the good. Interminably slowly.

     

    Michael Irvin of the Day: Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chris Henry was recently arrested and charged with 3 felony counts for pulling a gun on a group of partiers. He also faces pending marijuana charges for an unrelated incident. But here's where it gets cool: he was allegedly wearing his own jersey when arrested. Stylin'. Profilin'. Makin' sure everyone knows who you are. Again, why do you suppose they call it Dope?

     

    It was good to see Yao Ming of the Houston Rockets make his return to the court last night. Especially since I recently traded for him. Also good to see Cleveland Cavaliers forward Anderson Varejao and his Sideshow Bob hair take the court again and resume his rebounding machine ways. Lebron can't do everything, even if it sometimes seems like he has to. Congratulations to Boston Bruins goalie Tim Thomas for shutting out the offensive juggernaut that is the Ottawa Senators last night. Naturally, I didn't dress him, as I was playing the percentages. This is why we go all in, roll the dice, and let the chips fall wherever they will. Fuck playing it safe.

     

    While watching Wild On Tara, or Taradise or whatever it's called; I realized there is an inherent beauty in watching sweaty foreign guys feeding Tara Reid (nice implants, by the way) drink after drink after drink. Her friends are kinda Fly, too. Needless to say I'm hooked. I'll keep watching it until she decides to go and work for NASA or something else worthy of her sheer brilliance. Luminosity, even.

     

    Thanks to dear sweet Sonya for another comment, which warmed the cockles of my empty little heart; along with all sorts of other places. It's good to see that you're giving back to the community and such. I knew you were cool. Mmmm...popsicles.

     

    With visions of fiery car crashes running a marathon through my pretty little head of late it's likely a DAMN good thing I don't drive.

     

    The list:

     

    1) Becky Hammon (All Star guard for the New York Liberty of the WNBA. sue me, I like lithe (I really need to use this word more frequently/liberally) and athletic-type womenfolks; especially if they can knock down the three.)

     

    2) Lisa Loeb (who digs hot bookish brunettes with glasses? I Do. if y'all are familiar with her work, you'll get that one. I quite enjoyed her version of Happy Together on the once upon a time Jeremy Piven vehicle, Cupid.)

     

    3) Ona Zee (more old school. she parlayed her adult film career into her own production company. 2 time winner of AVN's Best Actress Award, in 1989 and 1992.)

     

    4) Kine Bakke (5'11'' 34-25-35 Norwegian L'Oreal model. love them pouty lips. winner of the Scandinavian ''Top Model 2005'' reality show. sadly, I missed that one, too. not much for the reality shows, other than sports and gonzo porn flicks, of course.)

     

    5) Sherilynn Fenn (because I'm feeling wistful for Twin Peaks of late. she, too, could raise the Dead and make 'em glad they came back. one word: DAMN!)

     

    Off to eat lunch, watch Popular and then sleepytime before tonight's volleyball outing. We got some snow last night, the big fluffy kind, so I was out rolling around, making snow angels at 3 this morning on my smoke break. Yes, I'm all about the incongruent sometimes. Until manana, picture this big galoot making snow angels, should your day start to suck. I know, I'm such an enabler.

  • Women of the Day 01/30/06

    No, I don't sudoku, thanks for asking. To tell y'all the actual and factual, I'd never even heard of the fucking thing until last weekend. And yesterday, I actually learned what it is. But oh my, yes, it's high on my to-do list. 2nd in fact, with 1st being ''make that to-do list''.

     

    Song of the Day: (One Night in) Paris Hilton (Video)- Mu. Nope, haven't heard it yet (I've a sneaking suspicion that it's a dance tune of some sort), but really; do I need to? It's Paris, and that's good enough for I.

     

    I heard the new Kelly Clarkson single, Walk Away, on the radio last night; and I have to admit my shock and dismay. Don't get me wrong, it's a damn cool tune, but I SO wanted Gone to be the new single, as it's the new mad notes. Almost as good as Since U Been Gone. And yes, the search doth continue for someone I can listen to that song over and over and over again for and pine away after.

     

    Some helpful (because I'm a giver; I care, dammit!) advice to new Boston Celtics center Michael Olowokand: Dude, a contract year means you're supposed to play better. That way some chump (read: recently accused of sexual harassment New York Knicks G.M. Isiah Thomas) will break you off a fat new long-term deal. Then you can go back to blowing dog on the court until the final year of your new deal. You're 7 feet tall, would it kill you to rebound, or even, gasp; block a shot once in a while?

     

    If folks would just concede every mens' tennis event to the juggernaut that is Roger Federer, they could televise more WOMENS' tennis; which is, after all, the only interesting tennis there be. For obvious reasons...athleticism, grace, kickass excitement. And short skirts leading to upskirt footage of long, coltish legs, amongst other things.

     

    Sometimes it'll get to ya, but don't let it get ya.

     

    I was finally able to watch a brand new episode of Veronica Mars yesterday (taped on Saturday), and it was almost worth the interminable wait since the last one. Lucy Lawless' FBI agent was a hoot, I hope she sticks around for a spell. Sadly, no girl-on-girl action took place, but hope remains high on that front. As always. With damn near everything. I always hope that some hot lesbian action will break out at the bus stop or on the train or wherever. Some folks pray for wealth, fame or love. This is what I rap with god (or whoever) about.

     

    Thank you to Sonya for her comment. There's nothing wrong with 3D rememberizations, feel free to share any details you'd like. I, too, have some of those, but opted to go in a different direction instead.

    Thanks also to the teenage couple (chick shapely, blonde and cute; with some chump) who were making out acrost from me on the train this a.m. for the majority of the trip from work to downtown. Like, fuck OFF and let me enjoy my book. Get a room or a backseat or something. Did that sound bitter?

     

    The list:

     

    1) Aphra Behn (the 1st professional female English author. after her husband's death, she became a spy in the Dutch wars. she was unsuccessful at this and returned to England penniless, even serving time in debtors' prison. later became famous for her high-living, bohemian lifestyle and her work, as well as her denial of women's subservience to man. ah, I see, she wrote fairy tales...just jokes, dammit, ow, put down those rocks and them torches.)

     

    2) Amber Lynn (one of the many unrelated Lynn women what dominated the Golden Years that were 80's porn. loved her in the Miami Spice series.)

     

    3) Julia Ormond (haven't seen her in much lately, but I always dug her accent, and today I feel like it might be brunette day.)

     

    4) Carya (the human beloved of Dionysus (my personal fave of all the gods), she died very suddenly at Caryae. Dionysus was grief stricken but unable to re-animate her, so instead, he turned her into a walnut tree. hmm...maybe I can do that with my ex-wife, I like walnuts, and she IS a tad nutty.)

     

    5) Gabrielle Reece (the tall, fine, Amazonian queen of women's volleyball. man, could we use her on our squad. occasionally models, too.)

     

    I'm off to watch yesterday's episodes of Party @ the Palms and Taradise, eat oncet more and then sleepytime. My Monday's damn near done. May yours be all warm and fuzzy-like. Or at least on the tolerable tip. Catch ya.

  • Just because...

    I once did something somewhat similar with regard to film and because every once in a great while I get All Fired Up to do more than one post in a day. Sadly, something which time rarely seems to permit of late. Hey, honing my brooding skills takes time and effort. No matter how effortless I may make it seem sometimes.

     

    Sure I could be all elitist (like some folks I know, right, Yan?) and only listen to scratchy vinyl recordings of obscure and perhaps best forgotten indie bands; but, like I believe I may have mentioned a time or 50, I'm a sucker for a witty hook and/or a catchy chorus. Fucking sue me. I'm sure y'all have guilty pleasures, too. Like when you somehow find yourself humming along to Color Me Badd's I Wanna Sex You Up or some such. For me, it's when Nick Carter (the blonde one) of the Backstreet Boys (how gay a name is there?) warbles ''..don't wanna hear you say..." in the denouement of I Want it That Way. Gives me fucking chills.

    I hate this fucking server. Shit keeps shutting down on me when I'm in the middle of a post. I'm not, like reinventing the wheel (or the Abbotts, for that matter) here or anything, but still.

     

    Now that Hanson's (thankfully) broken up, do they still get to be brothers?

     

    I could've sworn that the Black Eyed Peas were the new Arrested Development, but, sadly, it appears they may have some staying power.

     

    Whenever I hear Goodbye Stranger by Supertramp, it evokes memories of my childhood. I'm not really sure how I feel about that. Like the song, though.

     

    I liked the band (lead by Greg Dulli of the Afghan Whigs) that was thrown together to do the music for the Beatles' flick, Backbeat, more than I ever liked the Beatles themselves. Thank you, Yoko.

     

    I find Boys of Summer to be quite haunting and sad. The Henley version. That of The Ataris, whilst solid, is a little too faithful for my tastes. If you're gonna do a cover, Why Not play with it a little bit, mix it up some? Which brings us to...

    Covers I've Known and Loved (in no particular order, and I don't always know who did the original):

    - Tori Amos: Losing My Religion

    - Erasure's Abba-esque E.P.

    - Judas Priest: Johnny B. Goode

    - the Sugarcubes: 99 Red Balloons

    - the White Stripes: Jolene

    - pretty much every song The Donnas have ever recorded

    - Smashing Pumpkins: Landslide

    - Hole: Gold Dust Woman/It's All Over Now, Baby Blue/Paradise City

    - the Bangles: Hazy Shade of Winter

    - Times Two: Cecilia

    - Nirvana: Where Did You Sleep Last Night?

    - Kelly Clarkson: Why

    - Hilary and Haylie Duff: Our Lips Are Sealed

    - Belly: It's Not Unusual

    - Noise Ratchet: Crush

    - The Clash: I Fought the Law

    - Marilyn Manson: Like a Virgin/Tainted Love/Personal Jesus

    - Johnny Cash: Hurt/Personal Jesus

    - William Shatner: Mr. Tambourine Man/Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds

    - Travis: Hit Me Baby One More Time

    - the Goo Goo Dolls: Give a Little Bit

    - Mandy Moore: Drop the Pilot/Whole of the Moon

    - the Ataris: I Remember You

    - Joan Jett: Dirty Deeds

    - Wilson Phillips' California album

    - Britney Spears: My Prerogative (video only, naturellement)

    - Morrissey: Moon River

    - the Lemonheads: Mrs. Robinson

    Feh! This grows tiresome. There's simply too many to list, so I'ma move on to something else.

     

    It's nice to see that Chris Brown's got that fledgling R&B career going, now that Travis Henry has overtaken him as the Tennessee Titans' starting tailback.

     

    Because I am, in fact, quite insane; certain songs by the Goo Goo Dolls always evoke memories of certain womenfolks I've known, usually not well enough:

    - Slide: Sue; ''I wanna wake up where you are..."

    - Think About Me: Terri; ''And all you want...is something I can't be."

    - Hate This Place: Charlotte; "...you're my sweet charade."

    - Iris: Melissa; "And I'd give up forever to touch you..."

    - 2 Days in February: my kinda sorta wife; "I'm sorry I ain't there with you the way you ain't here with me.''

    - Girl Right Next to Me: Jenny; ''...I don't even know what to say, so I'm thinking out loud.''

    - Cuz You're Gone (live version): Dana; ''...you're so beautiful, you're so untouchable and I wanna get in so bad but I don't know how..."

    - Sympathy: Kendra; ''...I wish for things that I don't need, but what I chase won't set me free."

    Oh, what? Like certain songs don't evoke images of certain people, places and things for y'all.

     

    I kinda miss the all-too-brief swing revival of a while back. Come back to the five and dime Brian Setzer, Brian Setzer.

     

    I still can't believe there's an actual book on the soul in and of the music of Nick Carter. After all, everyone knows that Aaron got all the talent; he's the one that dated (Barely Legal) Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan.

     

    When the All Saints broke up, they took the hopes and Dreams of a generation with them. But all is not lost...they can still atone by doing porn.

     

    Clay Aiken will have the longevity, career-wise, of Johnny Cash. Sorry, let me take my tongue out my cheek. Perhaps the singing career of Joaquin Phoenix, who played The Man in Black in Walk the Line. Yeah, that sounds a little more likely.

     

    All right, I'm pretty much grasping at straws, now, so I'ma quit whilst I'm Far Behind.