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  • Women of the Day 12/31/05

    At last, the end of another perfectly fucked up year is nigh. Yay, Father Time! Sadly, noone has invited me to participate in their reindeer games this evening, and, while it stings; somehow I kinda suspect I'll find the strength to go on. It'd only cut into my unshakeable plans to be drunk and morose and hanging off the railing of my balcony.

    Besides, the one I want to kiss at 00:00 is in another country, anyway.

    Having watched a really bad dub of Wedding Crashers yesterday and being completely inspired by its simple yet timeless wisdom; I'm ready to turn over a new leaf. Possibly a whole forest. Definitely that rock I usually hide under. I've a sneaking suspicion I can make this coming year worse than last. Which is saying a lot.

     

    Song of the Day: The Everly Brothers- ('Til) I Kissed You. It seemed appropriate, and I've always loved me some pleasing Everly Brothers harmonies.

     

    A final resolution:

    - 2 words: The Iliad. Not in the original Greek or anything, but still.

     

    Glad to see that the online slot machine folks stopped by again yesterday with some Yuletide greetings. It really means a lot to me that y'all care. Now, if I could only persuade you to click on some ads whilst you're here.

    Thanks also to Sonya for her heartfelt and concerned comment. I sometimes find myself in situations when coffee is sadly unavailable and/or I simply require the extra kick of a couple of caffeine pills. It's completely under control, as with my burgeoning heroin habit, I really don't have time for any other addictions. The portion of my New Year's Resolutions wherefore I vowed to stop being so hard on myself (or at least try) all of the time is due to the fact that I've elevated self-deprecation to new heights (or lows) and kinda refuse to see anything positive in myself at times. Hell, I even occasionally send myself hatemail hereabouts, as noone (other than someone named Rob, much obliged) will do so. I've been quite fond of donning the hairshirt (black, of course; don't let anyone tell you otherwise, Only black is the new black) and making with the keening and wailing at times. I tend to take the blame for everything, whether or not it's actually my fault. But now, I'ma work on that. I may even learn to take a compliment, not that all that many get thrown my way or anything.

    Bottom line: Until I learn to better accept who and what I am, she (who/wherever she may be) won't take me seriously. Nope, not explaining myself real well; all part of being a mystery wrapped inside a riddle and an enigma. Or however that goes.

     

    I also watched The Dukes of Hazzard yesterday. Now, having taken copious notes, I feel ready to undertake driving again. Perhaps one day soon I shall rent me a car. Or as it'll turn out, one of them crash-test vehicles.

    And I totally bought Jessica Simpson's method portrayal of hot young snatch on the hoof. She's quite the actress, that one. What range. What depth. Did I mention her rack? I also loved her role as doomed babysitter on an episode of The Twilight Zone a while back. Has she been killed in a horror movie yet? If not, it's long overdue. Especially since horror movies often involve gratuitous female nudity. And beheadings. Really, what more does a movie need?

     

    The list:

     

    1) Hen Yanni (Israeli Dolce & Gabbana model. I liked the name, fucking sue me.)

     

    2) Michelle Yeoh (I do believe that I feel some Yellow Fever coming on. there's just something so cool about a chick what could totally kick your ass. yeah, you know what I'm talking about, don't play coy; I ain't buying it.)

     

    3) Rachel Yakar (soprano opera singer. what can I say, ''Y'' was kind of a difficult letter.)

     

    4) Mae Young (legendary professional wrestler. too bad about the way the WWE used her the last time I watched its programming; ancient, decrepit womenfolks should simply not be Naked, it goes against all that is good and decent and pure.)

     

    5) Amy Yasbeck (actress and widow of John Ritter. as a child, she was featured on the cover of the Betty Crocker Easy Bake Oven.)

     

    Not to worry, I'm only on the 2nd floor. No big. Anyway, it's been grand boring y'all this past year or whatever it's been since I began on April 23rd. Enjoy yourselves tonight. It is, after all, Saturday. Or Amateur Night, if you prefer. Anyway, be good and be safe. Taxis will likely be a bitch to get, but public transportation will likely be going all night. Cops get a smidge put out when you try to lose them in a car chase. They tend to shoot first, and if y'all live, then ask ?'s. I'm just saying. As a pedestrian, I worry.

  • Women of the Day 12/30/05

    Happy 21st birthday to the anointed one, King LeBron James. This is the year his Cleveland Cavaliers finally make it back to the playoffs. The Magic 8-Ball has so decreed. Sure, it's only batting about .500 of late, but I feel goodly about this one.

     

    The dark place has come a-lookin' for me this a.m., so I ain't got much. A hearty much obliged to the online slot machine folks for their latest attempt to pull me out my doldrums. Thanks for stopping by, click on some ads whilst you're here.

    Thanks also to My Sister for the heads-up about Lime Wire.com. I've put it to heavy usage these past 2 days, downloading music-wise. Give it a spin, if you're so inclined. It's from the makers of javascript, but don't hold that against it. I've secured that song I was babbling about yesterday. The bad news is that it's from someone on Canadian fucking Idol; Melissa O'Neil. It's called Alive, and I like it anyway. Speaking of Idol winners: Ms. Clarkson's on the cover of, I believe, Maxim Blender currently. Pictures, okay. Story, skimmed. I'll look it up online later.

    And to the lady in the tracksuit at my local Safeway this frosty Friday a.m., for bending over and giving me a nice view of her shapely caboose.

    And finally, to the good folks at the MGM Grand Player's Club for the cheap-ass keychain, which, despite being big and SHINY, Only lasted about a week. Hell, it almost took me longer than that to attach my keys to the fucking thing; completely lacking any dexterity and all.

     

    Some small triumphs this a.m.: my monthly buspass hasn't increased in price, even though the cost of a single trip has. Nope, I don't ask much. I also managed to find a vial of 100 caffeine pills (badly needed on Tuesday nights) for $8.99. Aren't I the dedicated post-xmas shopper, though?

     

    More New Year's Resolutions:

    - to actually PLAY my guitar (not that I, like, CAN or anything, but still) rather than just watch it gather dust in the corner

    - my next one night stand will not involve a wedding at any point

     

    The list:

     

    1) Yesod (Hebrew goddess. the 9th Sephira of the cabalistic Tree of Life, sphere of the moon and of the astral plane.)

     

    2) Sean Young (sure, she's been a smidge unbalanced at times in the past, but that just makes her more interesting; but no, she wouldn't have been a better Catwoman than the immortal Ms. Pfeiffer.)

     

    3) Rosalyn Sussman Yalow (won half of the Nobel Prize in medicine (1977) for the development of radioimmunoassays of peptide hormones. nuclear physicist.)

     

    4) Kristi Yamaguchi (a little Yellow Fever for those of y'all so inclined. the first American woman to win Olympic figure skating Gold since Dorothy Hamill. apparently, she used to train up in my neck of the woods, in Edmonton.)

     

    5) Christina Yorn (model who not only looks like but IS the girl from Abercrombie & Fitch, for those of y'all familiar with the ouevre of L.F.O.)

     

    The weekend's almost here. Stay strong, you'll be fine. I'm off to watch some of the many movies I've obtained of late. I may be back later, though. Take care, y'all.

  • My New Year's Resolutions

    Sadly, the list is fairly short, because that which I most need to change (and there's a LOT!) is completely out of my control. However, I'm confident that whosoever reads this will hold me to each of my little resolutions, so...

    I, Christian A. (for Anything you want) Manson, being of sound mind and body and somewhat goofy disposition; do hereby resolve and declare that in the forthcoming Year of Our Lord 2006 I will (or is it shall? whatever):

     

    - try not to always be so hard on myself

    she, whoever she may be, won't begin to take me seriously until I take myself seriously

     

    - try in all things, at all times, to be as excitable as a rock

    or perhaps like water; don't bend, don't break, just flow

     

    - smoke MORE

    because any idiot can say they'll quit or cut back and then lapse, whereas this is a resolution that'll go the distance; besides, with everybody ''quitting'', there'll be more cigarettes for me and somebody has to keep the tobacco industry afloat

     

    - get at least one and possibly several more tattoos

    which means I have to turn the house upside down looking for that kanji for self-immolation (for the back of my neck) that I seem to have misplaced, as it seems appropriate; beyond that, I'm not sure what I'll get done

     

    - frequently and liberally use the phrases ''Paris Hilton Video'' and/or ''One Night in Paris'' hereabouts

    I totally need the traffic

     

    - try not to be quite so much of a knob around the womenfolks

    Girls, this is Christian. Christian, these are girls; this one'll be tough, as I'll have to overcome years of bad habits

     

    - try to better deal with the stupidity of the masses

    yet another reason whyfore I work the graveyard shift, less ''people'' to deal with; I kinda hate people

     

    - leave Stately Deranged Manor more often

    and not just to go to work, or to run errands, or to go to Las Vegas, either

     

    - finally get that passport

    even though Everybody Knows how much I fear and loathe being photographed

     

    - work on improving my vocabulary and find some better and different cliches to inflict upon y'all

    because every once in a while, one requires a different adjective or verb than the word fucking; or so I hear

     

    - finally come up with that catch-all Down Under joke if I'm going to include Aussie womenfolks in the daily lists

    I've been wracking my ''brain'' over this one; my poor hamster's exhausted

     

    - tell her that I've always thought she's kinda neat

    and let the chips and restraining orders fall where they may

     

    All righty then. That's about all I've got at the moment. As usual, more as they occur to me.