suavely deranged

Still deleting the archives. Still no results. Will continue. Stay tuned.

 

So I awoke from my usual troubled slumber at 3 A.M., and was preparing to roll back over and return to Dreamland; when thoughts of my complete lack of any semblance of a retirement plan (other, of course, than dying before I turn 65) pummelled this hapless chump firmly into submission on the shores of Awake. Sigh. I do, however, have about $10000 CAN (roughly $200 USD) in stock. Not much of a dowry, but better than nada. Just barely.

 

Why does IMDb rarely have pictures of obscure actresses that I'm seeking out for the lists because I've never heard of them and they've done nudity? Yet another obstacle in my path to world domination, I reckon.

World domination? Dude, you can't even dominate tying your shoes. At best you're batting about .500 on that one. Baby steps, ace.

 

Bring me the head of Phillip Fulmer. My beloved University of Tennessee Volunteers are now in the midst of a 4 game losing skid. I was watching (okay, listening whilst I read, but still) their game against Notre Dame yesterday when I had an epiphany. I simply can NOT watch college sports anymore, as ALL I can feature is the thought of shapely young coeds offering themselves as the postgame spread. Then, yet again, the ever popular phrase ''And look what I'VE got'' rears its ugly head and I get all angry-like. No, not like angry. Exactly angry. As opposed to my usual furious frame of mind. No Peaceful Easy Feeling for me, no sir.

And I'm sure Mr. Fulmer will be quite happy in his next job, wherever that may be. Dude couldn't even win when he had Peyton fucking Manning as his quarterback. Sure, his regular season record is impeccable (other than all those losses to Florida, or was it FSU? whatever), and he's managed to win 1 NCAA Championship, but I do believe it's well nigh on time for him to move on. Go Vols!

 

I see that The West Wing will be going LIVE tonight. I didn't even know they still made that fucking show. Is Rob Lowe still part of the cast? Him, I always liked. Especially in the classic Bad Influence. And, of course, the sextapes with the underage girls. Any publicity's good publicity, right, Rob?

 

As I type this, I'm half-watching a 1st season episode of Charlie's Angels. You know, the one where you can see Farrah's nipples. Truly a classic. And the episode ain't bad, either. Farrah's nipples are truly spectacular, as anyone who's seen either her Playboy videos or magazine spreads can attest.

But Jaclyn Smith's still my favorite of all the Angels. And Shelley Hack's totally underrated.

 

The list:

 

1) Theano (wife of Pythagoras, ran his school after his Death. credited with writing the treatise on the Golden Mean, for all you math geeks out there in the ether.)

 

2) Jamie Frontz (Hawaiian Tropic model. has appeared in Rush Hour 2 and Ocean's 11 and on something called Spy TV. blonde, tan, leggy, shapely. I'd be more than happy to oil her up with some of that Hawaiian Tropic, sun or no sun.)

 

3) the nice senior citizen lady at (the Evil Empire) Ticketmaster what sold me my Nine Inch Nails concert ticket on Friday (she managed to score me a Club seat (separate entrance, padded seats) right beside the stage (apparently the floor is entirely general admission and entirely sold out) for the same price as a regular seat. she even provided me with detailed instructions on finding my section, which I promptly forgot; limited brain capacity and all, since I'm preoccupied with thoughts of the price of tea in China. finding a good seat for concerts and such at pretty much the last minute is one of the few benefits of being a complete fucking Loser, pardon me, singleton. although I reckon I could've tried to find something on eBay, ticket-wise.)

 

4) Keyshia Cole (I happened to catch some of her I Should Have Cheated video on BET the other day, and DAMN!, she fine. ample rack, some wet T-shirt type footage (too bad about that bra, though). Nubian. fuck no, I didn't listen to the song; that kinda defeats the whole purpose of watching rap videos: fine, scantily-clad black women.)

 

5) Shar Jackson (allegedly newly single Brandy's fine, thin, buxom homegirl Niecy on Moesha. I'm starting to become hooked on the show's simple, homespun wisdom; and, of course, Brandy's phenomenal self. the other day, Usher was on one of the episodes I caught; fucking guy's everywhere, ain't he? he used to seem like a pretty decent fella, until he began to believe his own hype.)

 

Breakfast is calling, then more posts to delete. Maybe a hunt for some keywords in the futile hope of drawing more traffic and perhaps some Google AdSense revenue. Enjoy your Sunday, y'all. Watch my beloved Seattle Seahawks lay a beatdown on the Arizona Cardinals, if it's available in your area. Attend church. Bake cookies. Stay in bed with the Sunday paper. Whatever. Just be.