Apparently, I failed to receive ANY traffic at all yesterday, which I know isn't true (more on this later); people can't help but be curious as to what someone who would get married on the 1st date will do next. I know I would be. SO not liking the new format here. Although, if I'm reading them stats correctly (yeah, like THAT's possible, ace), I've already received about 1/2 the traffic I did all of last month. Again, hoping blogspirit brings back the hits stat, as I'm a TOTAL traffic whore. In case you couldn't tell.
A hearty Welcome to The Show to Cubs rookie outfielder Adam Greenberg. The very first pitch he ever faced (I'm guessing fastball, I'll bet HE wasn't) in the majors hit him in the head. He was apparently down on the ground for several minutes but did manage to walk off the field and is listed as Day to Day. So at least there's a happy ending.
Song of the Day: Climie Fisher: Love Changes Everything. I became enamoured of it turing my teenage angst bullshit years and have recently rediscovered it. Yep, I'm the guy that requests it daily on my beloved living in the past radio. I noticed that someone else from Calgary had requested songs. Represent.
While I've managed to kinda sorta endure the Hillbilly Hoedown thus far (as well as I handle anything else), tonight will be an entirely new Scenario. Tonight I'll be taking the train to work, and, thusly, be forced to deal with drunken folks. Although if I can convince just ONE drunken hottie to flash her tits for me, perhaps in exchange for a cigarette (I'm ALL about the barter system, after all); then the evening will be scored on the positive tip. Even by the German judges, and they've always been tough. But fair.
During the course of my surfing yesterday, I discovered something called "Please Lindsay, Eat!" It's apparently a feed Lindsay Lohan petition. There's nothing better than folks what have time to worry about the important issues of the day. Of our very generation. Epoch, even. Oh wait, that would be what I do, wouldn't it? Never mind. Forget I even brought it up. Apparently, the petition has received over 12000 signatures already. Nope, I didn't sign it, but if I ever manage to get back to it; I will.
I also managed to find a site called blowjob races.com. Definitely check this one out, y'all. It's like the time trials at Indy, but with chicks (which I can never seem to spell correctly on the 1st try, being dyslexic and, essentially, simple) smoking pole. Women either show up with their guys or are paired up with complete strangers (my personal fave: loving the anonymity), and race against the clock to see which of them can make said guy come fastest on a given day. Needless to say, I'll be back. And, if anybody has a password for this little gem, e-mail it to me, s'il vous plait. My wife lives VERY far away, and I have a LOT of free time.
On the " with friends like these, who needs enemas? " tip:
Thanks to my boy Yan for the nasty comments about my lovely neighbor. I simply asked if he had attended the party on Friday night which I was unable to make, and received an e-mail saying that Kendra had gotten tipsy, taken off her clothes and offered to be a party favor at said party. Now, while I HIGHLY doubt this occurred, what if it did; and I wasn't there to participate in and film the event? I don't even want to think about it. Naturally, I forwarded the e-mail to both Kendra (who also knows Yan and I'm sure will be overjoyed to discover what he thinks of her) and Yan's alleged girlfriend, Stella (also sure to be filled with pride at what her little man thinks of womenfolks). No, I didn't really, but I was tempted. If only I had his mom's e-mail address available. Because you know how moms LOVE hearing that sort of talk from their kids. Why do you think I don't let MY mom read THIS filth? Maybe I'd even get to watch her wash his mouth out with soap. Hmmmm. Could be. I should likely be disturbed that I'm more upset by this than I would be if he'd said something equally unpleasant about the Mrs.; but for some reason, I'm not. Yan Yan Yan Yan (shakes head, listens to it rattle). Why are you the way you are? I can see taking shots at me, as I invite abuse (hate mail, please, y'all); but what did Kendra ever do to you? Or do you just hate ALL women? Come on, Claire, share with the group. We're all (okay, all except me) adults here.
I finally managed to download the Behind These Hazel Eyes video early this a.m. I'm quite pleased. Yay, me!
My daily horoscope from astrology.com looks promising today:
" Someone you've been carrying a torch for-well, for what seems like forever- is about to let you know the feelings aren't just mutual. They may even have been carting around a larger flame than you have. No, it's not easy to believe, given the depth of your feelings, but anything's possible, especially for your sign. Take full advantage of the good things the universe is tossing your way. "
If only. Sigh. Since I'm all about reading between the lines, I'd bet green money this means I'll be hit by a bus or train today. And god forbid anyone should be near me when the lightning strikes. I hope everyone's got locust insurance, as it appears that a plague of them is on its way to my neck of the woods. Sorry, y'all. I hope this doesn't put a damper on your Yokel Jamboree plans. Actually, I kinda do.
1) Sonya of MsRedSonya's "Discover the World Around You" "Be Aware, Be Informed, Be Involved." (thanks again for the warm, witty, and understanding comment yesterday; it really brightened up my day when I read it. and, of course, thank you for the pictures: your tattoos are awesome. I'm glad you found my little endeavour, please mention it to your friends. get the women to send pictures, as they're always greatly appreciated. that goes for anybody else of the female persuasion, of course. if this keeps up, I may actually have to take some pictures of myself for bartering purposes. but one step at a time.)
2) a cashier from my local Safeway named Anna (hot young brunette with a BOOMIN' frame, nice big lips, and an exotic look. and quite friendly-like, didn't even spit at me once. one of the few bright spots in my yesterday. another was the kinda fly teller at my local bank who asked after my Yokel Jamboree plans; when I responded that I'd never been (which raised the attention of the other teller-also kinda fly, but with a big rack and a fine ass), she was intrigued. I could tell as she didn't press the silent alarm or anything; again, I don't ask much.)
3) Joan Allen (the more I see of her in films, the more I dig her.)
4) The Church Lady (from back in the day, when SNL was actually funny. a lot of y'all may not be old enough to remember, but yes, SNL actually used to make one go ha ha. hard to feature, ain't it? of late (say the new millenium) there ain't been much, other than Ashlee Simpson's brilliant performance, naturellement.)
5) Sophia Bush (Brooke on One Tree Hill, drunken slut in Van Wilder, hot snatch (sadly, married) on the hoof 24/7/365. and, of course, the name rocks.)
I'm off to find tomorrow's list; eat my Sunday carton of scrambled eggs and package of turkey bacon; and whatever else happens to occur to me.